Other Laws Beside Science - funny

THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY

Murphy's Law ADDENDUM

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease,

your nose will begin to itch
and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped,

will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched

is directly proportional to the
stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number,

you never get a busy signal and someone
always answers

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work

because you had a flat tire,
the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes),

the one you were in will always
move faster than the one you are

in now (works every time)

Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water,

the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone

you know increases dramatically when
you are with someone you

don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone

that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely

proportional to the reach.

Law of The Theatre
At any event, the people whose seats

are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,

your boss will ask you to do something

which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room,

they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich

landing face down on a floor covering

are directly correlated to the newness

and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you

don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver 's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson 's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like,

they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well,

make an appointment to go to the doctor,

by the time you get there you'll feel better. 

Don't make an appointment and
you'll stay sick.